Thursday, September 13, 2007

An Open Letter to Born-Again Christians: Please Pull the Jesus Stick Out of Your Ass.


Can someone please explain to me why it is that born-again Christians feel they have carte blanche to do whatever the hell they want? I can’t tell you how many times I get cut off in traffic by some self-righteous douche-bag with a fish magnet on the back of her SUV. So, you’ve rededicated your life to Christ and he says it’s okay to be oblivious behind the wheel? Does Jesus pay your insurance bill, too? What part of acting boorish and self-centered is in line with the teachings of ANY god, let alone Christianity’s?

I get that you’re perfect and without sin now, but how does that excuse obnoxious behavior? Aren’t you supposed to be working towards world peace or something? What happens after you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior? You get to just be an asshole to all the heathens? That just seems fucked up and selfish to me.

I understand the feeling of superiority they must have. Really, I do. They’ve been saved. They “win” the game of Life. They found the answer to the Golden Riddle of Religion. Good for them. I’m sure that when they die, they’ll get the magic keycard to the Executive Restroom in the sky. They’ll be hanging out in heaven while everyone else will be suffering in lakes of fire and chains of ice for ever and ever. Because that’s how their God of infinite love works.

If that’s what they need to get through the day, so be it. I don’t presume to judge how another human being gets through this life. It just doesn’t work for me. I figure that if I let them go on about their merry way, in turn, they’ll leave me the fuck alone about it. But what the fuck is the deal with lording it over everyone else? Is that really what Christ would do? Really? You’re saying that Jesus would act like an asshole and generally be a prick to everyone who doesn’t “get it”? If that’s the case, you can stick Jesus right up your ass.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Why Is Rudy Giuliani Still Alive?

What could I possibly say about Rudy Giuliani that hasn't been said already? The man is a consummate liar, and not only let his city get bombed, he sided with Bush over the ordeal. Was he "promised" the presidency (or at least a shot at the title) if he rolled over and let the President bomb his city? Who knows? All we know is that instead of being in his "Command Center" in WTC 7, he was in an ad hoc command center far from the destruction. And how could WTC 7 collapse "from damage" if Buildings 6 and 5 (which lay between the twin towers and building 7) were virtually unscathed?

So, the question remains -- Why isn't Rudy Giuliani dead? Because he knew the towers were going to collapse. How far in advance we're not sure yet, but it's safe to say he knew (he's said as much in an interview). Too bad he didn't feel the need to share that information with over 400 other firefighters, rescue workers and first-responders who lost their lives trying to undo this inside job.

It's times like this that I wish I had a Samuel L. Jackson voice so I could scream, "Yes I think they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!"

So, there you have it folks.


That's the Gospel... according to St. Bastard.